The feeling of infatuation is often confused with love. Are we as humans even capable of love? Love is unconditional. Whether you’re dating a man who is moody, or married to a woman who is high maintenance, one day will come when you refuse to tolerate such behaviour because of the way it makes you feel.
Initially, it may be cute. This is because, the feelings of adrenaline due to the newness of the relationship take over and minimize all of the idiosyncrasies that later annoy you. Novelty is a powerful, and very short lived thing.
So why then, do we get into relationships? We go into them for what WE get out of them. Companionship, security, filling voids, fulfilling the obligations of societal norms, and the list goes on, depending on each person and their personal goals. Relationships, like all the institutions can be corrupt. As soon as you label them, the expectations kick in.
“You need to entertain my insecurities by texting me throughout the day.” “You need to stop going out with your friends and give up your social life, even though it makes you happy.”
Relationships are great, when needs are met. But is this practical? Maybe that’s why there are so many unhappy couples in existence.
Usually, we come into people’s lives for a purpose; to evolve as a person. Challenges in relationships is the only platform for personal growth. We learn about ourselves through others. Who we attract is what our soul requires, to evolve.
Have you ever wondered why opposites attract? Why an introvert constantly attracts extroverts? People with insecurity issues usually attract people that are out-going and social. These are the type of partners that are required for the individual to work through their insecurity issues.
Similarly, people that attract partners who are into cheating or engage in narcissistic abuse have issues around self worth. There is usually a direct corrolation between what we attract, and what our soul requires in order to evolve.
For example, if we had a controlling parent and we left the house at an early age to get married and escape, chances are, we will find ourselves in the arms of a controlling partner. In this case, our soul is being called to learn how to set boundaries and honour ourselves. It is the soul’s opportunity to work out childhood wounds.
The “chemistry” that we feel for someone is just energy, disguised as attraction. Whether it’s good our bad, the reality is – comfort is familiarity. It’s the soul longing to work out repressed and unresolved issues from the past.
“Lessons in life will be repeated until learned.”
The best way to heal your wounds is to look within, and examine what challenges you are consistently facing in your relationships. This will lead to an understanding of the virtues required in order to break these patterns.
When these patterns are broken, we are then capable of attracting a partner to enjoy, especially if we don’t have an agenda other than authentically wanting to be with that person.
People often come into our lives to act as a mirror. To show us where we need to grow.
Change happens within. Understanding relationships and developing awareness is the first step to transformation and growth. When we change, the people who reflect back to us will also change.
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